The man finally got me. I'm sheered. Now I need to buy some new clippers to replace the ones that broke, because I never want to pay again for something so simply done myself. The people at the barber shop were hilarious. The ones I talked to on the way in no longer recognized me. By the time they were convinced it was the same person who walked in they were saying "I thought you were Amish" and "you just lost 10 years" and just generally cracking up at the transformation.